Let me start off by saying that this has been a month where I have discovered my ability to both multitask at great lengths and succeed, followed by periods of complete chaos where nothing really goes as planned. Exhibit A: The other day I opened the door, ready for a new day, lunch packed (pat my adult self on back) and water bottle in hand (hydration!), locked the door, tripped over my own feet, dropped both lunch and water bottle and yelled a decently loud profanity (sorry mom), and noticed the mailman was standing right behind me waiting for me to get out of the way. And what did he say? Simply, "I can tell you're trying today. That's what counts." Thanks kind stranger who saw RIGHT through me.
ANYWAY, this month has been somewhat of a transformative one, and I feel pretty damn good about it, too. After a period of stupid anxiety (I call it stupid because that's what it is. It's uninvited and still shows up and I can't stand it), stomach aches, and being tired all the time, I realized I should probably do something quite drastic because HEY, I've got nothing to lose and everything to gain (Ironically, I've since lost weight so that term is useless). So what did I do? I went on a diet, and I LOVE it. I feel happier, more energized, AND DON'T ROLL YOUR EYES BECAUSE I KNOW YOU MIGHT BE! I went on a diet to give myself some control and fuel for change and to REALLY listen to what my body is trying to tell me.
And this sparks another topic I'd like to sidetrack you with: why is it so hard for women to be supportive of other women doing something good for themselves? Don't get me wrong, I do have some great support from a group of lovely people and I am so thankful for that. BUT--there are some who react surprisingly negative to the news that you're adding more veggies to your life and taking alcohol out of the equation for a bit to focus on your well being both mentally and physically. I've heard things like "Umm... why?" and "that's crazy" and "things like that don't work." First of all, I would like to say this: would you ever say that to a drug addict who was seriously trying their best to change their lifestyle? I know that sounds a little extreme but with the amount of obesity, heart disease, depression, diabetes, and tons of other problems stemming from how we choose to eat and exercise in America....is it really that different? I've mulled over this topic with a couple of people and from what I can understand, it comes down to two things: insecurity and guilt. If you can't be proud of someone for trying hard to change a part of their life that wish was better, fake it. Just do it. It's respectful and the right thing to do, even if you don't believe they won't succeed. Because you know who else has huge doubts they will succeed? The person who just told you. The reason I say "guilt" is because of this observation: you go out to dinner, slightly embarrassed by the picky requests you might have to make to the waitstaff to ensure you stick to your diet, and your friend has no problem waving around whatever "good" food their eating right in your face -- and then constantly reminding you that you aren't eating it. That's just rude. Would you wave a PB&J in the face of someone who had a peanut allergy? Again, be respectful and instead try to simply UNDERSTAND where that person is coming from. A personal choice is just that, and nothing more. I'm not asking you to get involved in my diet---but if you actually want to, then I'll gush about it and we can be diet friends. Ok, there's my rant for the evening. We should be thankful we have enough food in this country to warrant diets. Summary: be nice.
On to something more fun: with this new diet comes new territory on what is considered "fun" for a 25-year-old.
Scene: Sunday 12:00pm. It is still the weekend and you haven't gone dancing or bar hopping because that's not really cohesive with your diet and you're sitting their on your couch, dutifully drinking your water, but at this point all you really want is a fucking mimosa or 3 and a giant stack of pancakes (breathe in....breathe out....). So what's fun to do on a Sunday afternoon with no food, no booze, and no sugar? Answer:
Dress up like a Kardashian and go to $1,000,000 open house listings to distract yourself. And enjoy every minute of it.
Yes, this is what I did. A friend and I got dressed up, went to the fanciest neighborhood in town and successfully toured three behemoths of houses. We were at first pretty apprehensive about it. We both agreed a mimosa would have done us good in this situation, but trudged on with what we set out to do: pretend to be impossibly rich 25-year-olds looking for mansions and acting like we flew in to town on our private jets just for this afternoon. It really works if you get into character. Each realtor took us very seriously (maybe....until the end -- I'll tell you in a minute), following us around as we pointed out ridiculous things: "The crown molding seems inauthentic.," "My wardrobe would never fit in this closet," "Where is the outdoor entertainment space?". Yes, we were pretty terrible. But we got free koozies and mints out of it! And we got to snoop in some pretty insanely decorated places. That being said, our cover was most definitely blown when we found this massive 200 sq. foot bathroom that had been lovingly decorated by a 97 year old woman: